Ten years (and one month and a few days)

Around eleven, twelve-ish years ago, a young and very nervous Jennifer Shields went to see her doctor. After a bit of a circuitous journey, ten years and one month and a few days ago, she went back to her doctor and left with a small but lifechanging bit of paper.

I didn't come out immediately - I didn't have to. There's no such thing as one journey we all go on - every transition is unique. For me, I was living and studying in Tāmaki, and most of my family was here in Ōtautahi. It was well before zoom, though I spent hours on hours on Skype with friends around the world.

I honestly couldn't tell you what day in December I started - how I track this anniversary is through Facebook memories, where every year, some day in January, I see my coming out post - this year, with the heading "10 years ago".

I was nervous as all hell. I had gathered my friends, let them know it was happening so they could jump in the comments first to set the tone (just in case), emailed my family the same post maybe an hour in advance. And I was surprised - so, so surprised. Not one negative response - I couldn't be more grateful.

What a decade it's been - it's been unimaginably long, complex, rich, full, messy, blessed - much like anyone else's last ten years, I imagine, but that day and that moment set me on a path I never could have believed. As a kid, and in school, I wanted to be a firefighter, and then a lawyer cos they make lots of money, and then an author, a filmmaker, an artist, a photographer. The work I do now, in service of community, wasn't even on the radar, because I didn't know it was a job that existed.

But I don't think it was long between coming out and getting stuck in - largely, at first, selfishly, because I wanted the university to call me by my name and that seemed like a very difficult problem for a university IT system to address. Even then, I didn't think of it as a career plan - though honestly, I'm not even sure I do now!

In the ten years since I've been blessed to meet so many people I hold dear and call friends through this mahi. I've had incredible experiences, been in meetings where I've had to pinch myself, looked up to so many people who have led the way that I now get to work alongside.

But beyond the work, I'm so utterly surrounded by joy, by love, by acceptance. I've had my fair share of difficult patches along the way, but I count myself so incredibly lucky and privileged to have had a relatively easy journey, and I'm forever grateful.

So here I am, ten years in, on holiday on a stinking hot day, hair unwashed, in my first ever pair of prescription sunglasses, living my best life and feeling so excited for what the next ten years will bring. Thank you x

If you're in Ōtautahi, I have an exhibition at Absolution at the Arts Centre open until the 2nd of Feb! It's a small collection of works taken on walks while travelling for my mahi, and I'm real proud of it. Check it out - the works are for sale!

Also, if you're in Ōtautahi and happen to have within your networks a home up for rent that will take us and our very cute and very well behaved cats... hit me up? That rental market is wild at the moment, huh!